2004-03-26 - 9:12 p.m.

I kept those heads turning today, which made me smile in that "oh, i have everything undercontrol kinda way, and i feel lovely". There was this sort of power in my attitude, a inner strength and happiness that I had not felt in a long time. I was able to be moved the way that I thought was no longer possible because of some alterating in my thinking and experience. What I saw was pure beauty, especially the calm waters, the delicate fog that fell upon the islands and the gentle breeze that pulled and tugged at my hair. It seemed like something out of a perfect dream, an ideal place, almost ethereal... The feeling of belonging, of being connected to the world: to all of the people and to nature...

I cried yesterday because the pain of being so alone and isolated from the people that share my blood, my love and my past. I saw him lying on my bed, snoring quietly in the depths of a tired sleep and felt like he was my family, that he carried such a huge part of me. He is my home, the person I belong with, the one I am connected to... So stood by my window, crying for those that I cannot be with and for being given this wonderful person. Its wonderful to be in love, to be living, and to have the friends that I do. THey are the people that help to fill that void.

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what happened - what will happen