2004-04-16 - 8:20 p.m.

This feels really wrong, and I am just about ready to curl up in a little ball and pass out... I hurt without hurting. I want to...I am filled with want for everything but at the moment mere physical and social contact. I feel terribly alone and there is nothing I can do about it. Nobody is home. Jeremy is out having fun. Vasilya is back and confused. Liz...I dont know where she is. R have no clue, S and N are not around either. But why would I call S? I have never before... Fuckaty fuck fuck.

I need to go party my ass off and dance till my legs and hips are so sore that my walk is reduced to a limp...

UMICH is the place for me, its perfect, I feel it. I love it... Its gonna be hell to afford. But it fits me so well and has everything that I want. Except one thing.

I am sad. I will go and play some music...

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what happened - what will happen