2004-04-16 - 10:18 p.m.

They were waiting, silently, like they always did in the summer. But even though they waited with me, they did not have the same feeling of anticipation. "What if he comes today?!?" What if I wake up and I hear his voice booming in the kitchen??? His arrival brought such glee to my life, I was little and didnt have anything to do but play and he was a rowdy playmate. I remember waking up once and hearing a baretone voice muffled by the closed kitchen door. I was so convinced that the visitor has arrived that I pulled on my favorite dress (white with green trim and small embroidered flowers), did my hair and rushed out to the kitchen! Well... I didnt see the familiar form of my uncle, only a radio from which the voice happily announced the warm weather and the Moscow state of affairs. The disappointment I felt was so overwhelming that I burst into tears on the spot and ran off hurt and angry to my bedroom. Then I waited every morning, hoping that things would liven up, that I wouldnt just have Andre and Jen'ka to play with... And then one morning I awoke to the sound of the doorbell. I jumped up, knowing that this was not another false alarm-nobody comes for visits and tea before lunch-ran down the corridor in my sleeping shirt and into my grandpas arms.

I am going to wait again now, patiently, things will become more clear and i will get what I want. i always do... :)

I was loved and pampered by him...I was the baby of the family even when my brother arrived as a small, wrinkled, crying bundle...

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what happened - what will happen