2004-09-17 - 3:48 p.m.

I am sitting here, doing the same thing I do everyday. Attempting to write but getting no where. I used to view the world in an entirely different way, with opened eyes, and open heart... Things effected me so deeply and so powerfully that I would feel such an overwhelming desire to spread the wonderful feeling to everybody. Now, I believe a part of me is dying, shriveling away and leaving a gap in my soul that I do not know how to fix. There are somethings that bring me closer to completion, things that make me believe that I just may soon find peace again. But if I think about those to hard I feel overpowering sense of giult and rage, and distrust in myself.

I love to love. I love to give everything that I have, to share my history, my thoughts, my secrets. Here I have found several people to trust and I can list them on the fingers of my one hand. And now, I need to have somebody to share this burden with, somebody who will understand me, be patient with me.

I wish that I could leave earth for a while.

"The world is too much with us." ~Wordsworth

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